Boo's Reviews| “An explosion in space makes no sound at all.”

[Warning! This review contains spoilers.]

Sisters...sisters...they were never really skinny blisters... (my Dad used to sing this to me and my Sister to the tune of the Irving Berlin song - this is obviously the "not-for-radio" release).

Title: Sister

Genre: Crime Fiction (ish)

Author: Rosamund Lupton

Published: 2012

This book came to me in a little pile that my Mum-out-Law gave me. They were surplus novels from her work's reading shelf (they have a one-shelf limit!!). To be honest, this book went unloved and unnoticed for months because of the company it was keeping (Mills & Boon do not a goodread make!). Anyway, I ran out of books to read a week before payday so I turned to it in desperation fully expecting a sickly, pink-filled, cream puff of yuckiness. 

Oh how very wrong I was...

Sister follows the story of Bee, a busy executive in NY, One morning, she receives a call from her mum in England telling her that her sister is missing. Bee hotfoots it back to Blighty in a complete panic since Tess' disappearance is so out of character and, as we discover, she (Tess) is heavily pregnant.

When Tess' body is found in some park toilets with slit wrists, the Police close the case and treat it as suicide. 

But Bee knows her sister and is adamant that there are other evils at work.

Everything is told from Bee's point of view, with the timeline flitting backwards and forwards between her giving her statement to a Police Officer and writing a letter to Tess, her sister, explaining how she came to discover that her presumed suicide was, in fact, murder.

It is a sort of "whodunnit" really; a pleasant surprise because I really wasn't expecting a murder mystery.

We start with a missing girl, then a body, then a motive, then the struggle of trying to get the police to believe that it is murder not suicide - all the way back to working out who the murderer is and how they did it.

I found the writing style was quite hard to stomach at first. I thought that the flowery vocabulary was complete overkill. I felt a bit like the author was trying to prove that they could write well, or something. However, once you get to know the characters a bit more, you realise that the language is totally suited to the older sister's accidentally condescending personality. In the end, the vernacular chosen by the writer for Bee, the main character, served to enrich my experience of her. Once you are accustomed to the many layers of Bee's character and her gradual blending into Tess', you begin to see just how many dimensions there are to her character. The many layers of emotion that Lupton adds to her protagonist forces you to put yourself in her situation. In this way, you discover how love can control, change, destroy and heal.

Warning: You will probably cry and, if you have a sister it will be almost unbearable (but totally worth it).

All-in-all, "Sister" is an excruciating, tear-jerking, interesting and satisfying read. I would thoroughly recommend it. 

Keep bookwormin'!

Becky

I TOUCHED JUSTIN HAWKINS' BUM!

I am never washing again *girlish sigh*.

Yes, apologies for my absence and welcome to March. Apparently March "comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb...". God knows where this saying comes from. If I could be bothered I'd wiki it for you but meh...let's just agree that it's a weird saying. Clearly this phrase hails from those halcyon days of yesteryear when all was rosy and sunny and golden, when March actually did signal the start of spring. These things I think this old adage is probably more applicable to June!

That's right - I'm still depressed about winter. Hence the absence. I've been hibernating!

AAaaaanyway...Justin Hawkins' Bum...

Mmhmmm, yeah, I touched it! Woop!

How/ Why/Where/etc?

Well last Thursday night, I took some time off from hibernating to go and see The Darkness at the Hammersmith Apollo in London. They are touring their new album "Hot Cakes". I hadn't heard any of the latest stuff until the gig but I have to say it was very catchy. Apparently they are trying to get back to their "Permission to Land" sound because they feel that the second album was "a bit over-produced". From where I was standing though - it was all gooooood!

Admittedly my discerning *cough* musical ear was somewhat disengaged because my attention was drawn to the rude little trail of hair beneath Justin Hawkins' bellybutton. He was sporting a rather fetching stripy, full-length leotard with the front cut out revealing his ripped torso - mmmm.

Ahhemhemhem...I am sorry,this post seems to have taken a bit of a 50shades turn! You know it's weird - Justin 10 years ago...not that hot. Justin now...well...

Above: Old Justin = Not Hot, Below: New Justin = Yummy!

I nicked these photos off of Google - please don't sue me!

Suffice to say - when he jumped onto his brother's (I think) shoulders mid-song, and got him to gallop around the arena with Justin on his back and several heavies from the Apollo security team following after, doing their best to make sure that no-one has any cause to sue, I was among the many screaming women trying to claw their way towards him.

Fortunately, they ran right past where I was standing and, before I knew it, I'd slapped his sweaty, lycra-clad bum.

That, my friends, is Rock 'n' Roll!

See ya later Amigos!

Becky



P.S. Gimme a shout if, when someone mentions "Justin" to you, you think Hawkins and not Timberlake. Also - have you heard the new Darkness album? What do you think?

Winter of discontent...

Does The Sun (the star not the Kerry Katona Daily Update) work for British Airways? I was just wondering because of the following:

1) It appears to have gone on strike.

2) BA are always offering "deals" to fly to increasingly far away places to go and spend some time with it.

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Me to The Boy this morning (details may have been exaggerated for your enjoyment):

At the bus stop on the seafront....

WIND: I'm gonna batter you because I' m The WIND and I'm a violent bugger...

ME: (Shouting over the wind and shivering from cold...) W..w...w..what's (*I'm shivering remember...from the COLD!*) th..that...wuh wuh weird p..p..patch of orange c..cloud over..ver.. there?

BOY: Is it...*squints* the...S...s...Sun? (*also shivering - see?*)

ME: *also squinting* I guh..guess...we'll n...never know buh....because..it's...it's *sniff* GONE! (*cries out in woeful lamentation*).

BOY: *Holds me to him and sings in Russian* (wait...whaaaat...?).

The things they say...

Why I love my friend Amy...

Me: You have one of those mouths that naturally turns down at the corners - it's very pouty (nice I know).

Amy: *Makes a pouty face...*

Me: I'm serious - I have one of those mouths that's just straight - from the side, you can never tell if I'm smiling or not *turns to the side and grins*.

Amy: Mmhmm yeah...you have a mouth like one of those penises that's so big - you can't tell if it's up or down.

Me: *silence*

Bookish Favourites of 2012

Late to the party? Moi?? 

These are my favourites from the books I read during 2012. Let me know what you think of my choices in the comments - have you read any of them? What did you think? What would your favourites be?

MY FAVOURITE 2012 ...

Biography

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou

  

Maya Angelou takes us through her early years living in a small community in the 1930s. She charts her odd upbringing and underlines the courage of Black Men and Women who have influenced her life. 

I thought this was pretty good. I love Angelou's style and it's a pleasure to read the evocative scenes where you can really imagine the people and places of her childhood. It is an emotional read but very subtle with it, bringing laughter and tears. The only downside was that it didn't hold my attention in places.

Chick Lit/ Romance/ Erotic Fiction

Reflected In You - Sylvia Day

Why on earth did Day's Bared to You trilogy miss out on all the Fifty Shades action? It almost went completely under my radar. If it wasn't for my (frankly a bit pervy) Aunt in publishing (can i get a WoooooOOOooo?)then I probably wouldn't have even picked it up! Stop wetting your pants over Christian and come and meet Giggidy Gideon (what is it with characters in these kinds of books having stupid names?). Anyway, I'm serious. The sex is better (no Tampax ickiness, no cliched Red Room of Pain), the story's better (i.e. it isn't just "padding" between sex scenes) and the writing is better (no "inner goddess" - my Inner Goddess was very relieved!).

Classic

The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkein

I won't bother summarising this because if you don't already have an inkling as to the plot, there is only 

Yep, I only read this book this year. For shame! 

It is simply everything you could wish for in a Children's Epic.

The blueprint for every fantastical tale I've read since.

Fiction

I am cheating because there are so many good books - I have 2 faves for the Fiction books I read in 2012. I probably could have split them into sub-categories bit oh well...

The Help - Kathyryn Stockett

Truly uplifting. I love the writing style. The dialectal way in which Stockett tells the 2 sides of the story. It is witty, topical and an all round feelgood read. 

(The film is also very good; close to the book and the acting is absolutely on point.)

The Book of Lost Things - John Connolly

I loved this. It is an intricate fairy tale retelling, taking in many aspects of traditional (mainly Grimm) fairy tales and transforming them into a complicated, dark and sometimes visceral plot. I really enjoyed the juxtaposition of using childhood stories to explore adult themes of loss, grief, envy and love.

I would recommend this if you enjoyed: Any Grimm Fairy Tales, Tender Morsels, Tom's Midnight Garden or Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister...

Crime

Echo Park - Michael Connelly

I used to be really in to crime thrillers and murder mysteries when I was a kid. Probably thanks to my diet of Famous Five and Secret Seven books! I then progressed to Nancy Drew when I was a teenager. Since then though, I haven't really read many "crime" novels. I think I sort of thought "been there, done that".


Well, that was until I discovered Michael Connelly. I was a little put off by the fact that he is one of those writers that just seems to bash these things out, which always puts me off because it makes me doubt the quality of the writing. I know it shouldn't do and it's silly - don't worry though. I fully admit that I was wrong. Very wrong.


This book was intriguing because it was about a closed case where the murderer had never been caught. Years later, an absolute nutjob admits to the killing but good ol' Detective Harry Bosh doesn't believe him and sets out to solve the cold case himself. Dun dun dunnnn....

Fantasy

The Wicked Years Quadrilogy - Gregory Maguire

Okay so I'm properly cheating now because this is actually 4 books but I'm counting it as one entry...deal with it!

You may not be famiiar with the story of Wicked but most people will have heard of it by now, thanks to the incredibly popular stage show on Broadway and in The West End.

The books follow the life of the Wicked Witch of the West and her family/ associates.

You will want to invest time in these because they suck you in until before you know it, you have spent a month reading with barely any sleep living a half-life because your mind is constantly in Oz!

In my opinion this is everything fantasy should be. There is comedy, magic, mystery, tragedy and green-people sex - what's not to love!?

Historical Fiction

Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks

Not for the faint-hearted! This novel is exquisite but long. It is a proper saga. I love the very French feel of Faulks' novels and I love how intimately he knows the people and places in his stories.

Not a traditional love story and definitely no gushing, this is a spectacular tale that you can really believe in.

Make sure you have your Kleenex at the ready - it's a weepy!

Non-Fiction

Do Not Pass Go - Tim Moore

My family used to play Monopoly quite a lot but I wasn't a major fan, mainly because I almost always lost to my much-less-gullible sister! That said, you don't need to be a Monopoly superfan to find this book charming, hilarious and interesting.

I think it was an inspired idea of Tim's to tour London and try and discover why the Monopoly Board streets were chosen. His mission takes him all across London and he makes some interesting and weird discoveries and tells us about them in a very witty way. This book reminds me of Bill Bryson's Notes on a Small Island. Brilliant stuff!

Science Fiction

Farenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury

Don't know how I lived so long without ever reading this. It is a must-read for all bookworms. I don't consider myself as a particular sci-fi fan but fear not - this is more of a future dystopia dealy. In a future where books are feared by the government because their influence cannot be controlled; in a society where the government are trying to discourage free-thinking; one man steals a book that he is supposed to have burnt...

I could read this every month and not get bored. This story has so many layers that you uncover something new each time and the state-control aspect of it is muted, rather than over-exaggerated like it is in other dystopia . The scariness is more implied than stated and I think that makes everything even scarier!

Travel

The Unlikely Voyage of Jack de Crow - A J Mackinnon

A J Mackinnon has my total admiration for being a nutter, in a pith helmet, sailing a Mirror Dinghy to Romania...

Anyone who owns or has ever sailed a trusty Mirror, will be able to sympathise completely with the various pains of long-haul sailing and camping in what is effectively a plywood box!

This book is written in a very natural style which is both absorbing and hilarious. I would say that the story loses momentum a little towards the end of the voyage but I enjoyed it all the same and that's all that matters, isn't it?

Young Adult Fiction

Howl's Moving Castle - Diana Wynne Jones

I thought this was a very cool YA story. The kind of thing that you don't have to be a teenager to enjoy.

A girl gets turned into an old woman by a particularly nasty witch. She seeks refuge in an old, magical, moving castle which is home to a grumpy wizard who is renowned for kidnapping girls. 

There is nothing too taxing/tragic/emotionally demanding in there, just humour, magic and mystery.

So there you have it - those are my 2012 picks - what would yours be and why?

'Til next time!

Becky

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Welcome back. If you are a regular visitor, thanks for coming back, I know my rambling can be terribly offputting. You may have noticed an odd lack of Christmas-related posts in this little patch of teh interwebz. Fear not, I am not The Grinch. I was just a bit bored of reading Christmas-related posts by the time it got to ooh about November. I'm sure that the discerning blogger is already feverishly drafting Easter-related posts to upload next week. Alas, I am neither concerned nor discerned nor any other cerned. I will however wish you all a Happy 2013.

Congratulations on surviving the predicted Mayan apocalypse. You just couldn't get the staff in those days...

Anyway, this year I promise to do some more booky posts. Really I will. I am aiming to read 50 books. I haven't decided which ones but I am starting with Les Mis (which by the looks of it I will still be reading this time next year!). Also, if you are finding me in any way entertaining, it would be awfully nice if you could come and give me some moral support over on Twitter (twiddlytwiddlytweettwiddlytwiddlytwiddly tweet tweet tweet tweet - name that tune!) @BoosBooks and/or swing by my new youtube channel BeckyBoosBookClub. I am due to put up a possibly-slighly-youtube-conditions-infringing review on 50 Shades of Grey (bandwagon? What band wagon?) in which I say the word "vaj" perhaps more than is strictly necessary. It should be online this weekend.

In the meantime, happy new year and all that - I'm off to the gym!

TTFN xXx

The Gruffalo - The Untold Story

Until a few years ago it was widely believed that there was "no such thing as a gruffalo". Thanks to an unlucky coincidence one brave mouse recently discovered that such a monster does indeed exist - in the dark depths of a woodland previously frequented by teddy bear picnickers.

Half grizzly bear, half buffalo, this awkward animal is believed to be the product of one awful experiment involving a disreputable scientist who was unavailable to comment by virtue of the fact that he has since, regrettably, been eaten.

We follow the plucky Mouse as he retraces the steps he took on that fateful day when he discovered The Gruffalo.

Milo, for that is The Mouse's real name, strides into the wood with enviable nonchalance. He begins by picking his way along the side of the marked footpath before veering off towards the fox's den where he met his one time enemy Felipe. Unfortunately, the Fox has been so ridiculed by the community for his apparent stupidity in falling for Milo's tricks that he has been unable to get a decent meal for weeks. Unwanted celebrity has not brought him any fortune so he has left for America where, he is reliably informed, the streets are made of cheese. As everyone knows, foxes are really quite partial to cheese...

Swaggering past Felipe's former residence, Milo recounts how he courageously avoided The Fox's jaws and instead thought up the story about the Gruffalo. His over-confident demeanour falters just slightly when he is questioned as to how he thought of the Gruffalo and whether he really knew that one existed.

Soon enough we happen upon the Owl's house but, alas, he is not home. Oswald the Owl was once known in these parts for his superior wisdom having once belonged to a wizard. He prided himself on knowing everyone and everything in these woods and did not suffer fools gladly. People from miles around used to come to seek his counsel but, since the whole Gruffalo affair, he hasn't had any custom. Instead he has suffered a bout of depression brought on by a loss in confidence and has flown away to Hogwarts where he is now working as a post-owl (Editor's note: That is to say "post" as in "postman", not "post" as in "posterior"/ or "post-war").

The fact that Gruffalo-Gate as it is now being called has disrupted the lives of, so far, The Fox and The Owl does not seem to bother Milo The Mouse in the slightest. Indeed, for a little marsupial he seems to have delusions of grandeur, focussing instead on how long it will be before they make a 3D movie of his adventures. Boo Publications understands that a stage re-telling is already in production.

In keeping with the predictable, repetitive nature of these kinds of stories, it doesn't surprise us to find that The Snake has also fled. Although it appears in this instance that The Mouse was right to think Simeon the Snake is an idiot. Apparently he is well known for his stupidity and has fallen for an Egyptian Snake Charmer who has whisked him off to Sharm-el-Sheikh.

As we pass this last checkpoint on the way to meet the terrifying Gruffalo, it is interesting to see that Milo has lost some of his bold stature and in fact seems to be backing away whilst gesturing us towards the cave.

Our hearts in our mouths, we make a hesitant move towards the beast's lair. Before we have even reached the opening, an enormous roar almost knocks us backwards. We all jump and topple against one another like dominoes. Wiping the monster's spittle from our faces and the sweat from our brows, we proceed, with renewed caution. Our less-than-gracious host appears to have beaten a hasty retreat and is nowhere to be seen.

With one swift step we are inside the mouth of the cave. We hold fast through another few ripping roars and then we finally find the torch. Casting it around quickly - we get a real sense of the decrepitude that this beast lives in. There is not a single piece of furniture. Not even the cheap kind from Ikea. No wallpaper, nothing. Just two glowing orange orbs in the darkness at the back of the cave. As we steel ourselves for the final, and they do seem likely to be final, steps - we are stopped in our tracks by the metallic clang of something falling to the stone floor.

We hear a small, petulant voice, rather like that of Billy the Smallest of the Goats Gruff who we interviewed last week.

"Tell Milo I ain't doing it no more."

We glance at each other, completely nonplussed.

Our lead cameraman steps forward.

"I beg your pardon, so so sorry to intrude and thanks awfully for not eating us just yet but we are making a documentary and it would be really helpful if you could expand on that comment you just made, if you wouldn't mind, Your Gruffness..."

We hear the slap of skin against stone as Our Gruffness approaches. (The skin of his feet that is...not...ewww...please...this is a CHILDREN'S STORY). To our utter shock, what edges towards us is, what can only be described as, a...a... "Buffizzly Bear".

He has a hairy head and a hairy tum with hair-covered hooves and a hairy bum. He has awful breath and claws to match with tiny pustules all over his back. His eyes are indeed orange, his tail is long and the entire picture is, frankly, just wrong!

On questioning, it seems that the Buffizzly Bear, or Norman as he was christened, was the result of an accident that his well-meaning scientist creator had when he was trying to split the atom. Norman is in fact the head of a grizzly bear and the body of a buffalo. He would like us to mention that he does NOT eat mice, foxes, owls or snakes. Much preferring to raid the bins of the nicer neighbourhoods after dark. He was blackmailed by the Mouse who caught him having an affair with a young woman of questionable morals. The young woman is apparently a well-respected MP (hence the questionable morals) and Milo threatened to reveal their sordid secret if they did not agree to help him get rich.

Norman the Buffizzly Bear wants to be left alone to continue to scavenge a living from bins and woo political ladies.

The MP in question has got a super-injuction against us using her name, has quietly resigned and is now writing a book about her experiences. Rumour has it that she has signed an exclusive deal with Channel 4 to make one of those vaguely sex-related documentaries about weirdos who fancy their cars/ horses/ bicycles/ fairytale animals (delete as applicable).

Norman has moved to the Netherlands where they tend to be a lot more accepting of this sort of scandal.

Milo the Mouse has taken refuge in the Ecuadorian Embassy, London.

It would seem then, that there IS no such thing as a Gruffalo.
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NB: Boo Publications are co-operating with the police in their ongoing investigation of this fraud and all relevant permissions were sought before going to press.
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